Run Report #2040 18/7/2012

The “too many monkeys” run

Hares: Lethal Weapon & Father Anus

Where: Lorong Sesuai

On On: Red Lantern

The Circle: It was a good run, but there were too many monkeys, and too many children (in the scribe’s opinion). Shortly before a circle was called, a few old farts were approached by a pack of said children who doggedly insisted they sing along to Justin Bieber’s “Baby”. Their persistence was met with a mixture of bewilderment and resistance – “Too old!”, 8 Miles Wide explained repeatedly. With the help of Shawn and Joel, they managed to get the kids to fuck off after singing the chorus of possibly her least favorite song in the universe.

Father Anus was told to put some clothes on before joining the circle.

Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? A toast was given to the hares for setting a great run.

Tell us about your On On: Red Lantern.

Next week’s run: Shoeshopper’s fuck-off run. [Ed: Wet Patch’s as well, even if he did take quite a long time to overcome his philosophical objection to being an “Associate” member of the Harriets].

Virgins: Wayne, Shawn, and Joel (Kara did keep her promise. Recap: In the previous run at Sin Ming Drive, Kara joined us as a virgin and promised to bring her husband the next time.)

Visitors: Kara, Dead Fish, Amber, Patrick, Stephan, Cunnilicker, Welsh Git, Stiff, Boxer, and Two Jugs (who rejoined the Harriets as a member).

Lipstick: Kan Not Kan.

Tits: Still with Sybil?

Dick: Still with Herr Zipp?


· The circle drank to the restoration of Two Jug’s membership status.

· Herr Zipp invited the hares into the circle, inquiring about some unconventional graphics he had spotted on the run. Though the run was “extremely well-marked” (here the scribe dissents – nobody but Loose Change did the entire trail), complete with perfect circles and plenty of paper, a circle had been edited with an arrow to form the symbol of a dick.

· During the week, Shoeshopper had been in Boo’s office (for reasons undisclosed). But Boo summoned her, saying “Shoeshopper, you can come in now!” Shoeshopper didn’t feel so grown-up anymore, and charged Boo for the sheer absurdity of using her hash name outside the hash.

· A conspiracy was exposed by Ad Nauseum – he had found himself at the front of the pack, but it turns out Kan the Kobra was trying to get him a lipstick charge. This maneuver was coined “The Entrapment”, with Kan the Kobra receiving the first charge.

· Cunnilicker had spotted Boo walking with a certain gravity of spirit in the course of the run. He figured that Boo must’ve lost a case. He also concluded that one should never, ever be a lawyer.

· UB was charged for pulling a Stiffy – he couldn’t tell that 8 Miles Wide was scribing on her phone, and wanted to give her a charge for it. 8 Miles Wide observed that The Stiffy was trending.

· Fat Crashing Bastard got a good ‘ole fuck-you for his birthday. Some proceeded to ask how old he was, but really – after a certain point, who’s counting?

· Shoeshopper, Big Head and Jack Off were given the Tiger Lily award for missing five – yes, five – arrows pointing right, and bulldozing straight on instead.

· Boo had actually said that it was okay to leave paper on trail. No, it’s not – as Cunnilicker later clarified, NParks’ rules stipulate that only paper is allowed on its turf, and it must be gone by 6pm the next day. Boo was charged for being a very misinformed lawyer, and the hares were given another drink.

· Not Tonight charged Kara and Amber for not being in hash attire. In fact, Amber was wearing a translucent top and white pants. Which were wet by the end of the run. In the attempt to give Amber a hash name, “High Maintenance” emerged as the top choice (the scribe personally felt it was mighty clever). Amber didn’t like it, though, so High Maintenance didn’t happen.

· Tiger Lily was congratulated for doing an Ironman. She will be doing many more Ironmen into the future.

On on to the Red Lantern.

Scribed by 8 Miles Wide

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