Run Report #2048 12/9/2012

The ‘Slime Entry’ Run.

Hares: Virginia Slim & Forced Entry

Where: Lorong Halus

On On: On Site Mr. Ho local delicacies

The Run:

Stand in GM Wet n Wild totally confused the virgin runners, and us, with something about looking out for chicks running around the bush in circles.

From Slime – ‘Quite dry until the last bit if you want to take the short route home. Hooray can head off over the bridge, the rest of you go left to the gate.’

With those instructions in mind, off we went into the wilderness, leaving the local bike riders and joggers to explore the made tracks and civilized routes on the other side of the waterway.

It was a nice combination of tracks and bush bashing that took us in a pretty well in clockwise loop. Good chicks kept everyone together. Speaking of good chicks, Twin Towers threw her weight around pushing runners out of her way, while Boo became superman and demolished every tree that got in his way.

War veterans took cover when a low flying jet came over a ridge and scared the shit out of us. Sneaky Comer told me I was guaranteed to run into grief if I tried to short cut through at a T Check, and a 100% guarantee it turned out to be, my cut and bleeding shins a testimony to his words of wisdom.

Finally we got to the short/long option. Actually, following trail was the short way. Paper led down an embankment, through the reeds and into some dubious looking water. Even more dubious would be the fish that some locals were trying to catch in it. Paper could be seen 20 metres away on the other side of the embankment to the trail leading home. The alternative was to run a few hundred metres further along, cross the bridge, and come back to trail on the other side.

Not wanting to be called a long cutting bastard, I stayed on trail, as normal, and took the plunge into the water (I think the word ‘water’ is used loosely here). With water up to my neck almost, I made it across and stood back to watch Boo. In he went and immediately received a reed wedgie. I then followed his trail of bubbles as he negotiated his way underwater to the other side.

I think numbers were divided on those that took the water route and those that long cutted to the bridge. All back in an hour, I really enjoyed that.

The Circle:

Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? It was all good. Well done and thanks.

Tell us about your On On: Mr Ho’s Hokkien Mee, roast pork and apple pie. Free Beer.

Next week’s run: Tampines Ave 10

Visitors / Returnees: Frisking Machine, Vatic*nt, (The GM stand in took a shortcut when reading out this name), Phoney Dick, Golden Shower, Christine, Kara, and good old Half Cut and King Leer.

New Member: Nay

Virgins: Nora, Darin, Pea Rasmussen (sounds like a Hash name).

Tits: Kan Not Kan forgot them. (Kan the Kobra not there to pack his bag more like it)

Dick: Should be in Father Anus’ car, as that is where Lethal Weapon left it.

Lippy: No naughty boys tonight (meaning the gals forgot to bring lippy).

Awards – Nope.


· Sneaky Comer thanked the visitor who’s weight cracked a branch that was used as a bridge across some shiggy. Saved the fat bastards still to come from suffering the ridicule.

· Sneaky also got me for not listening to his local knowledge advice not to take the short cut.

· Is Virginia Slim getting more mellow and polite with age? Sneaky Comer was bemused that Slim actually offered an alternative route around the shiggy at the end.

· I decided to read the information signboard provided by PUB. It boasted of beautiful clean waterways. Yeah, sure, sure. Anyone who went into the shiggy would be puzzled by this statement.

· Sneaky Comer, on a roll tonight, recalls how Wet ‘n Wild once disappeared in black slush here years ago on a recee.

· Mother’s Tongue tells how well Wet ‘n Wild remembers the above event – tonight she asked Mother Tongue to wait for her in case she drowns.

· What constitutes a run? asks Mother’s Tongue. Loose Change’s effort tonight was to walk across the bridge 4 times.

· Big Head tries to tell us something, but a screaming fighter jet blasts overhead. For all those that went into the sludge, or just pounded the territory on the run, virgin boy informed her that this has been a waste disposal site for 30 years (if virgin boy is so clever, how come he is still a virgin?)

· Hooray calls in all the drips. Hang on, they are all English coming in. Mmm, well they are certainly qualified to be called drips, but there are plenty of other drips out there. Ah, wait, my ears are still ringing from the fighter jets overhead – Hooray called in all the Brits, not the drips. Royalty is in town, and Loose Change managed to get a photo of Prince Willy and Kate at the Botanical Gardens. (I think I would prefer the special pics of Kate published in France more interesting. No interest in Willy’s Crown Jewels though)

· Forced Entry, despite being the partner of Virginia Slim, still shows she has a nice and caring side to her, bringing in birthday gals Too Easy and Fat Crashing Bastard. (Wait a minute, think I scribed a little wrong here.Oh well.)

· Too Easy charged Too Slippery for going down too easy. (Now I am confused. Certainly no forced entry with this charge then.)

· Kan Not Kan declares that he is an intellectually challenged person. No one challenges that. At one point on the run, Slim had written ‘Slime loves Amy.’ KNK then went on about ‘Amy port in a storm will do,’ before he had a Forced Exit from the circle.

· Boo was given a serving for destroying the Earth’s forests by indulging in illegal logging during the run.

· Phoney Dick, who obviously has way too much money for the Hash as he has stayed in a 5 star hotel, told us that you use to be able to leave your shoes outside your hotel door and they would be cleaned for you. That was in the good old days – try it now and they get knocked off. But if you leave them outside Big Head’s car after the run, they will be taken care off. (any other services offered at Big Head’s car??)

· Too Easy follows up by pointing out a visitor’s pair of shoes placed hopefully 10 metres from the Circle. Take them to Big Head’s car.

· Hooray was approached by a late arriving Father Anus, who asked him which way he should go. Hooray pointed north, so Father Anus ran south. Smart lad.

· Mother Tongue gave Hooray a blast for giving late comers short cut secrets. (the charge was cut short.)

· Forced Entry got in Twin Towers and Twin Jugs for claiming exemption from wearing Hash attire after the run because they Twin Towers and Jugs. (thanks for the mammaries gals)

· Cock Radio (that’s me) got in Twin Towers for checking left at a Circle, when we were obviously at a clockwise turning point that had to go right.

· Twin Towers immediately fire back with a counter charge – she checked left because I told her too. Mmm, so obliging.

· Sneaky Comer caught Maggot taking the lead without a woman in front. He wasn’t perturbed because ‘it’s no problem, Wet n Wild won’t have remembered to bring the lipstick.’

· KNK tells us that lucky Jack Off is not here tonight with all those flaming fighter jets zooming overhead. Shooting Stars! (Quickie was brought in as look alike)

· Wet n Wild disputes she forgot the lipstick and to prove it, she brings in 2 naughty boys – CR (that’s me) and Sneaky Comer (the husband). I scored a kiss and the husband copped a slap.

· The night nearly went ugly when someone queried Slim if he was wearing anything under his sarong. Well, give the lad an inch and he will flash 6 4.2 inches.

On that note, let’s go eat. (Mr. Ho has parked outside the carpark cause last time here he got fined)

Scribed by Cock Radio (great to be back)

Didn’t like shopping there anyway. Yesterday I was at my local Shop n Save store buying a large bag of Chum dog food for my loyal pet and was
in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, a f*#*ing elephant? So, since I’m retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was
starting the Chum Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t,
because I ended up in hospital last time, but I’d lost 10 kg before I
woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pockets with Chum nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with
my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter’s arse and a car hit me.

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