The Run Away Valentine Run
Hares: Forced Entry & Nick Leeson
On On: The British Club
Well, what a difference this week. Down onto the old railway line to a rather obvious check heading north (well I didn’t do it, anyway). Back south down the railway line and then into the bush and onto the OLD railway line – we haven’t been in there for ages and it shows, getting quite overgrown now.
A circle check on the line had us confused for a while, before trail to the west and above the old railway line sent us past all the downed trees. A scramble back onto the old railway line finally had us exiting at Corona Nursery on Clementi Road. We then went over the back of the nursery and up and down and around and around the forested area between Clementi and Ulu Pandan, at no point understanding exactly where we were. It was slow going in the rattan infested forest and eventually, around 7pm, we emerged surprised on the old KTM railway line for a short trot home.
Awesome use of the forest, no-one knew where they were, and everyone got back safely – all within about 2km2.
Jack Off, perhaps having read last week’s newsletter, was a little more circumspect in calling the circle, to the point that few knew it was starting. Eventually the cats were herded. Hares in the circle. Where is Forced Entry? Off to some other crucial appointment, apparently. On in Nick Leeson.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Too many bees, not enough hornets, not enough hills or jungle. Someone got poked on the trail. Very nice to have a jungle run, excellent run declared. One of the best this year, committee, hint hint.
Tell us about your On On: Verandah of the British Club, there will be valentine’s decorations and Chicken Curry, $15. I think we had about 25 people.
Next Week’s Run: Too Easy is in to set expectations low for next week’s run, or that’s what it sounded like. She hasn’t seen her co-hare for weeks. Every other hash that has run at the run site has been ok but Too Easy was immediately accosted by armed guards as she did her recce last weekend. There is the possibility of bird flu, leptospirosis, itchy chicken, plagues of locusts, a tidal flood, and a financial meltdown. With expectations set, a trot around the parking lot will get run of the year J. And there will be a champagne stop! Anyway, Mandai Quarry Road is the run site.
Guests: Mata Hari, Totally Unacceptable, King Lear, Nick Leeson, Poo Bag, Knobby Boy Scout, Mike, Dead Fish, and Fetus turned up after the run in a cocktail dress.
Virgins: Susan and Liz both turned up for the run in cocktail dresses. Two Jugs was brought in for a drink for giving them incomplete information about the event. Yes, we were going to the British Club for a Valentine’s dinner. BUT, you were supposed to get all sweaty in the forest first.
Lipstick: Knobby Boy Scout, Dead Fish, Nick Leeson, Comes Quietly, and F$5ckin’ Easy.
Jackoff has Tits and Banana Protector so exercises her right as GM to use up all the easy charges to get rid of them.
Tits: During the run briefing, the hares issued a caution that there was old paper in the forest, but the pack should only follow trail where new paper had been laid over the old. One of the hashers running with Jackoff had been carefully inspecting all the paper, and at one point objected to what looked like old paper…”we are not on trail”. “What about the new flour right by your feet”, replied Jackoff. Tits went to (mmmm should have written it down) Comes Quietly?
Banana Protector: Jack Off unfortunately observed Knobby Boy Scout getting changed, and he was really getting changed. Kannot Kan bravely stepped in to protect the scene with a towel, and was accused of Bromance. KK gets the Banana Protector.
Dick: Sneaky Comer has the Dick which was actually passed from Trash to Cock Radio to Sneaky last week. Who promptly left it somewhere, fortunately it was Lost Marbles car. Anyway, Sneaky pointed out that Two Jugs had sent an email during the day, asking if hash attire was appropriate for the British Club. Sneaky had replied that he hoped it was ok because he certainly wasn’t getting all dressed up. However, the secret society of lady hashers had obviously been planning a glammed up night out, and he brought in Wet ‘n Wild, virgins Liz and Susan (wearing an LBD, as it happened) and a few others. Sweet Thighs was not only wearing a Little (insert your colour here, Sneaky is colour blind) Dress, it was actually hash attire. Sweet Thighs was awarded the Dick for sartorial elegance.
Awards – nope.
- Ayam Kampong was impressed that Forced Entry had recce’d such a complex run in the forest, until she found out that Nick Leeson had helped out. Was he subbing for Virginia Slim. Nick gets a drink for subbing.
- Sweet Thighs is inspired by the bromance charge. On arriving at the run site, she saw Sneaky Comer and Comes Quietly getting changed. Sneaky was being very discreet and covering up thoroughly with a towel, while CQ had it all out there. Both got a drink, along with Wet ‘n Wild for keeping a well educated husband.
- Kannot Kan observes that sometimes it is easy to define how old someone is on the hash. If, for example, you have to ask “Nick Leeson” why he doesn’t have a hash name, you haven’t been around the hash or Singapore for very long. Goes Down Easy is accused of being young. That said, when KK first met Nick Leeson, he resembled the real Nick Leeson AND asked KK for money. [Ed: apologies to KK, this was a very funny charge and the write up doesn't do it justice]. And, for those in the dark, read this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Leeson
On on to the On On.
Scribed by Sneaky Comer
Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers; “Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.”
The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
They never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!
Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.